God told me a secret today

The other day I was bemoaning with my sister the fact that we had such a great time and drew very close right before I moved to Lesotho. The familiar phrase came to mind “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone,” and on some level I accepted that it’s just the way things are. However, the past few days I’ve been feeling homesick and overwhelmed by my life here, and today I seriously questioned if that familiar phrase really has to be true. What if I want to know what I have while I have it? What if I want to thank God for the blessings in my life? What if I want to be truly content every day? None of that can happen if I don’t know what I have until it’s gone. As I was questioning this, God told me one of his best secrets. This is how it happened.

Funerals in Lesotho are a BIG deal, especially when the deceased used to be the chief of the village. Godfrey’s grandfather, Ntate Mostete, passed away in December and I had the privilege of helping to prepare for and participate in the events surrounding his memorial service and burial. It turned out to be two of the most overwhelming days of my life. I spent half of yesterday peeling, chopping and dicing more vegetables than I’ve ever seen in one place in my life. In the afternoon I witnessed the slaughtering of the cow that would help feed the attendees of today’s service. It was a much longer and more intense experience than I anticipated, so Godfrey’s 12-year-old niece, Mamphutlane, and I stuck close by each other’s side as the strong animal was killed, skinned, and portioned. At some point during this long process another group of men went to dig the grave, and the body of the deceased was brought to the family home for the night; the only thing more overwhelming than witnessing my first animal slaughter was seeing my new family and friends grieving their beloved family member. Last night I realized that I really had no idea what to expect from the day when I began peeling that first potato in the morning and not understanding the language or culture does nothing for one’s ability to follow what’s happening and predict what’s next!

That night I slept over in the village and woke up to a house full of people I didn’t know speaking this language I don’t understand. After the overwhelming events of the previous day, I was a bit apprehensive about what would be coming next. Thankfully, today was a gentler experience for me. The memorial service was very well attended and full of a long series of speeches and songs honoring the life of Ntate Mostete. I was unable to attend the burial because a sudden rainstorm came just as we were about to leave. We ate with all the other people who stayed behind and then I walked home with Thandi. It was at this point I began my questioning of whether it has to be true that I don’t know what I have until it’s gone. In my heart I was complaining that I live in a place where I’m totally out of my comfort zone, without many friends or family, where I don’t understand the language, and I can’t even appreciate a wonderful funeral service because I’m so overwhelmed by all that’s happening. This led to thoughts of the amazing people and memories I left in the States and for a moment I wondered what it would be like to pack up and go ‘home’. Then a sobering thought hit me; I won’t be fulfilled and at peace if I go home, no matter how amazing the people and memories are, because I am called here! “Will I ever be content?” I wondered. “Will I ever appreciate the things I have here while I have them, instead of only appreciating them from afar once I enter a new season?” That’s when God whispered his secret in my heart:

“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13

Praise God his word is true, and not that familiar old phrase! I know that one day I’ll enter a season in Lesotho where I really feel I’m in plenty; I’ll learn the language, I’ll make friends, and I’ll discover a lot more of the beautiful culture. However, until then, whether or not I feel in want, I have the promise of my Father that I can be content. He will give me the strength to do everything and with his help, I will recognize and appreciate all the blessings I have right now.